Who Knew...

That blowing up stuff could be therapy?.... Possibly arsonists.. But.. Lol
I went on Friday night with Loren Willis and some of his friends and family to make a bonfire over by R Mountain. It was actually pretty fun. The truck I was riding in ended up getting stuck in the snow. And once we got out, it took us FOREVER to get to where we were trying to go. But then we made a fire and just talked and made s'mores and hot chocolate. And once the fire started to die, that's when the real fun began.
Loren took out some of the mini propane tanks we had brought, the ones you put on carotene lanterns, and some guns he and his brother had brought. We moved the cars far far away, and then while Loren and his friend Josh went shooting, the rest of us stood next to the cars to watch. Loren would put one of the mini tanks into the fire, and then when it started to hiss, he shot it. Man! Now I know what it's like to be Native American! LOL. The fire got SOOOOO big! It was AWESOME!! Around nine we decided to hit the road and come back to civilization. Then, I curled up on the couch and watched a movie. I was out like a baby by 11.
On Saturday I went swimming with Jedi and Tucker at the Hart pool. It was fun to see Tucker swim by himself, with a noodle wrapped around him to keep him afloat, of course. But then he threw up and we had to leave 'til the pool cycled through and was clean again. So instead I just went home with Jedi and babysat while they took poor baby Piper to get some shots. Then it was my turn to go shopping.
After shopping I just went up to the school and did some homework for my classes on Monday. I was there for about.. five hours. After a quick dinner with Jedi, I headed out to visit with Aubrie. Then Carly and I went swimming. It was pretty fun. I enjoy spending time with Carly. She isn't as scary this semester as she was last semester.
Fast Sunday came and went. I guess there was some sort of football game going on... The Super Bowl? Yeah.. I didn't watch it.. I'm not really into NFL, more of a college football girl:)
Monday came and went as quickly as Sunday did. Here I am, at 10 o'clock with nothing to do.. Besides science homework... LOL. I should get to work on that....

Self Discovery

So, I think I have come a long way since 1 AM Saturday morning. I'm done being upset all the time over something trivial. I'm done putting so much effort into one thing that will only hurt me in the end. So from now on, I'll live to make ME happy, and hope that somewhere along the way I'll make others happy as well.
I can't stop smiling. I like this decision. It feels right. I totally needed Saturday morning. Maybe not the heart-ache and trouble, but I definitely needed some time for myself. And though I have been spending every second I can with other people... It helped me realize so much about myself. I changed for a person, and that's not what I'm about. You have to love me for me, and... They didn't.. Well, at first they did.. But after a while I started acting different and in the end, it wasn't good for me. So, here's to the old me, that is now the new me.
I love this feeling.. It's so.. Intoxicating.
You wanna know what else is intoxicating? Breakfast cereal. OMG. It's so dang good! I just had a bowl of my second favorite kind and I'm so happy. I had a headache earlier and I thought it was going to ruin my night. But, I slept it off and at 7 went to the movies with my roommates, and even though it is still there, in the FRONT of my head (I can feel it there), I'm glad I went. We just watched Harry Potter again. Way good of course. But.. Going out tonight was the topping on the cake. The cherry on a milkshake. The chocolate in my malk.
This is the start of something great. I can feel it. Tomorrow will be a great day. And the day after that great as well. And the day after that. No longer will I be sad. No longer will I have bad days. That's a promise. I might have bad hours.. But not bad days. That part of my life is behind me.
It just cracks me up that it took my best friend walking away to make me realize this. And I drove them away. But, we needed it.
You know what else I need? A shower. HA! So, I'll write more later. Thanks for reading! Have a FANTASTIC day:)

Too Much Fun, Not Enough Time

I am so sick. What the mess? I was sitting in Book of Mormon and about threw up all over Thomas sitting next to me. And here I go again. I didn't sleep well last night.. But, maybe I have what Piper has... She threw up on me twice yesterday night after dinner. It was so gross. But thankfully Jedi owns his own washer and dryer. So I didn't have to pay to wash my shirt. But, for some reason, even though "burping" is common for newborns, Piper looked sick after wards.. So, maybe she got a little baby virus and now I have it, only in adult form. So, I hope it doesn't last. And I hope it's not something else.
I went to a tea party yesterday after church with Michelle and Minta in 107 at Viking Village. It was... Interesting.. We basically introduced ourselves and ate cheese and crackers and drank hot chocolate.. But, it was fun to meet new people. Which is exactly what I need right now.. I was going to go to this social last night in the lounge with some people from the ward. But I got a headache and none of my roommates wanted to go with. So, I stayed home and watched The Matrix Reloaded with my roommates. And ended up falling asleep and having a nightmare..
I now must watch a movie in Theatre. It's pretty funny and absolutely ridiculous. I love it.

Not good....

This semester is starting off on a bad note. And of course, it's all my fault. Actually, it's not ALL my fault.. But whatever. Good thing my classes are easy or I would die. Literally. I would like, jump off a cliff or something. Accidentally jump in front of a snowplow. Surprisingly, in Rexburg, there are numerous ways to die. I'm about to that point.. But not because I'm heart broken or because of "a boy". But because of stupid mistakes and my being retarded. Only time can heal... But I feel like I've given myself too much time.. If that's possible.. Almost a whole year... Nine months.. That's WAY too much time.. and no, I'm not pregnant, tho the nine months might make it sound like that. Thank goodness I'm not THAT stupid. I just... Acted dumb. And now I have to live with the consequences. Don't bother asking me what's wrong either. Because I don't want to talk about it, tho you may think I do because of this post. I just needed to get this out in the open and write everything I'm thinking down. And this isn't even all of it.
And what's worse is that I WANT to keep making these mistakes and bad decisions because I'm happy in the process. I'm happy, but then I just crash at the end.. So.. I have to cut myself off. Cold turkey.. It doesn't help that the cigarette is right there in front of me... But, it doesn't want me.. So, that should make it easier....
This is the last "emo" post I will write. I'll try to keep up with the blog better... I suddenly have some free time. So, yeah. Get ready to hear all about my new fun-filled semester. Complete with emptiness and sorrow and all that good stuff.

Finals.. Finally..

Oh gosh. Can you believe that the end of the semester is here at last?
Actually, it went by so dang fast! It feels like just yesterday I was hiding in my room afraid of my roommates, who are now some of my favorite people.
Finals! Goodness! They are so.... tedious. I'm super thankful for take home finals. Especially when it comes to Math 108. I get four days to work on it. YES!!!
I'll be so glad when I get them all done. Two weeks all to myself... and Greg.. Marathons and Banana Split Oreos. Who could ask for anything better?! The worst part is that I have to say goodbye to two people I have come to love dearly: Ellie and Sonja.
These girls make me laugh so much! When I was told my college roommates would become my best friends, I didn't believe it... And now I do. I'll miss them soo flippin' much!!
But still, with a new semester comes new roommates, so we'll see how these next ones fair.
I'm really excited for my classes next semester, as well. I'm thinking about dabbling in History Ed and Math Ed...     Oh! And I'm taking and auto maintenance class.. That will be WAY fun.
Well, I had best get back to studying. I don't think I have ever studied this much in my entire life.. Wish me luck and know that I will most likely make it out alive.... I hope...
Keep an eye out for a better post... Hopefully my life spices up a little bit after finals..

Snow Snow Snow SNOW!!!

And no, I'm not excited about it.. The !!! were more of a frustrated yell than anything else. I'm so not ready for snow. Last week's weather was amazing. 60 degree weather, sunshine, NO SNOW. It was wonderful. And then I walk to class Monday morning and it starts to snow. What the mess is that? It snowed literally all day. From about 7:30 to... I wanna say 6:30. So ridiculous.And then it snowed today as well. But, I did go out and get some cute snow boots. So that's a plus, right?
Today I didn't go to class. I know, shocker. But it's because I threw up three times trying to get ready for my morning class and then once later in the day before my afternoon class and then almost again after I tried to eat. So retarded. I'm thinking it's the 24 hour flu or something like that, cause I'm starting to feel better and it's already the next day. But we'll see.
I'm supposed to go to Boise with Courtney tomorrow for her best friend/ex-boyfriend's cousin's wedding.. SO, tomorrow will be interesting. I'm hoping that we can find a boy to ride with us that way if we get stranded on the way home in the storm Friday night, we will have the priesthood with us. But so far no luck. And I'm pretty sure that if we can't find a boy, then I don't want to go. As much as I trust Courtney, I don't think I would be okay with driving through a snow storm with just us two.
I think I'm going to pull an all-nighter tonight... But I'm not sure. It's already 2 am and I'm growing tired.
The couch. The best place to sleep when ill.. I think I'll take it up on it's offer.

(Insert Clever Title Here)

Not a lot has been happening here this past week.We had our "Nightmare Before Halloween" party on Saturday and of course, it was WAY fun. So many people showed up throughout the night, we guesstimate about 80 in all. It was a huge success, even though I left half way through. I got bored, so I went with Greg and his roommates and FHE sisters party hopping. We ended up going to only one other party, but nonetheless, it was fun. Then I went to Viking 103 with Ellie and Sonja (after the party had ended of course) and watched When a Stranger Calls. It was great. Ellie always makes scary movies more scary because she screams for just about everything, which makes me scream, which then makes me laugh, and hurts my throat... and Joey's ears... But that's a different story. (Ellie and I watched What Lies Beneath with Joey and his apartment the night before and Joey sat next to me and Ellie and I'm pretty sure that we busted his ear drum.. and my throat muscles..) But it was just a great night. I dressed up as Little Red Riding-hood and had a blast.

Sunday was interesting. I received my very first calling. I'm assistant ward librarian. Fun stuff. Especially since Ellie is the ward librarian. But hey, I have a calling. And it's semi-legit. More legit than some other callings I have heard of, like Relief Society greeter... Lame right? But hey, whatever. I'm not judging... a lot..

I feel like college has taught me more about me. I used to think I would love getting out on my own, but the longer I am out here, the more I miss my parents and the guidance I once rejected. No longer can I just ask my father what I should do or ask my mother to make me something to eat, or to fix the holes in my life. I can always call them, but ultimately, it's now MY life to live and I have to make the decisions. It's a scary thought. But, I know that this is teaching me to become the mother and wife Heavenly Father wants me to be.


But yeah, that's all I have to say for now. Oh, one more thing, every time I went to spell the word "but" and the b was capitalized,  I always spelled it "BUt". How annoying. I think that I should just start avoiding using that word....