This semester is starting off on a bad note. And of course, it's all my fault. Actually, it's not ALL my fault.. But whatever. Good thing my classes are easy or I would die. Literally. I would like, jump off a cliff or something. Accidentally jump in front of a snowplow. Surprisingly, in Rexburg, there are numerous ways to die. I'm about to that point.. But not because I'm heart broken or because of "a boy". But because of stupid mistakes and my being retarded. Only time can heal... But I feel like I've given myself too much time.. If that's possible.. Almost a whole year... Nine months.. That's WAY too much time.. and no, I'm not pregnant, tho the nine months might make it sound like that. Thank goodness I'm not THAT stupid. I just... Acted dumb. And now I have to live with the consequences. Don't bother asking me what's wrong either. Because I don't want to talk about it, tho you may think I do because of this post. I just needed to get this out in the open and write everything I'm thinking down. And this isn't even all of it.
And what's worse is that I WANT to keep making these mistakes and bad decisions because I'm happy in the process. I'm happy, but then I just crash at the end.. So.. I have to cut myself off. Cold turkey.. It doesn't help that the cigarette is right there in front of me... But, it doesn't want me.. So, that should make it easier....
This is the last "emo" post I will write. I'll try to keep up with the blog better... I suddenly have some free time. So, yeah. Get ready to hear all about my new fun-filled semester. Complete with emptiness and sorrow and all that good stuff.
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