Buh-Bye 2011, Hello 2012!

Finally, this hellish year is over! And yes, hellish is how I'd explain it.

The beginning of the year seems so long ago. I've changed so much! I've lost friends, found friends, and made friends... Yes.. Made friends. Out of paper.. It was a low point for me. 

Here are some things that happened:

I fell in love. That was fun. While it lasted. My first love. And from it I learned about the kind of person I want to be and the kind of person I want to spent the rest of forever with. It wasn't a complete fail of a relationship. It taught me what love it all about. It also taught me that I can trust someone, even when I shouldn't. 

I got a real job. Not that working at the pawn shop wasn't a legit job, but this one just seems more legit.. Probably because I actually worked. And I drove myself to and from. And had work friends that weren't at church on Sunday. I'm not going to lie, as hard as being a maid is, it had it's fun parts. I made some really good memories and friends. The ladies I worked with are in a league of their own and it was great to be a part of it. I got to learn about hard work and sticking it out to the end. And honestly, it's probably the best job I could have had over the summer. 

I came back to school. It was a tough decision. But seriously, a wise one. As much as I love Alabama and all of my friends and family there, I couldn't see my life going anywhere there. I needed to get out and what better place to go to than a church school where I can feel the Spirit all around me. I get to go to the temple every week. Have FHE with fellow students. Have awesome roommates. Meet amazing people and learn from some awesome teachers. It's hard sometimes. And really lame. But the highs are the highest and the lows aren't even that low. I love it and I couldn't be happier to have come back.

Madi and Katie

Katie and Jessie.. The Hobbits

Katie

Michael and Janessa

Colten

Me and Madi eating a delicious crepe made by Jimmy

Michael and Katie and their disgusting fruit casserole thing

We finished the puzzle!

The Handy Man:)

I made some awesome friends. Now, the friends I had in 2010 were great. But they didn't make it very far into 2011. The ones I have now will last a lifetime.. And then some. I love them. They teach me so much about myself and the gospel. We've had some serious gospel discussions just because in our apartment and it's been wonderful. I love being able to just share my testimony and not get funny looks. We have had the most wonderful conversations about life, love, church, school, boys.. Everything! It's been the best semester and just what I needed to come back to. I just hope that the people who have befriended me this year have benefited as much from me as I have from them. 

I ate bacon. Lots and lots of bacon. We did something called Epic Meal Time with some guys in our complex and it was awesome. Disgusting, but awesome. We made something called Fast Food Lasagna. It consists of hamburger, Baconators, bacon, and a Martinelli's/Jack Daniels BBQ sauce mixture. So good. But way too much meat.

Bacon Weave

Seth and the meat loaf about to go in the oven

Yum!

 

 

Finished product

And we made ginger bread houses and exchanged presents. That was super fun. The six of us were given Secret Santa assignments and the last day we were all together we made gingerbread houses and exchanged gifts and had so much fun. 

Charlie got a PeeWeee Giraffe Pillow Pet

I got the award for Awkward Neighbor. Th triangle and the outhouse are mine:)

Jessie's scary Santa

I took this at the same time Madi used her camera and it looks like the house is on fire.

Madi, the gingerbread house queen

Left to right: Al, Evan

Our awesome houses

Our tree and fireplace. Presents and sticks and all

My "outhouse"

Too Much!

So for Christmas, I came down to Utah with two of my most favorite roommates, Katie and Madi. I stayed with Katie in Orem this whole week, and then today (Friday) I came to Madi's house, where I'll be until January or so. Not really sure. I have a bed waiting for me in Sandy, and I just might use it. We'll see.
Katie Jensen. What can I say about her? She's fabulous.We got to her house kinda late on Saturday, mostly because we went to a Jazz game as soon as we got into Orem. Sunday, we went to church and then took some amazing Sunday naps by her fire place. We ate dinner and then watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers until about 1 am. It's the extended version, so it was about 5 hours long. Two discs. Amazing. We finally got into bed and slept in. Katie was up at 10:30 and I rolled out of bed at 11:30. We made some delicious breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and toast, and then watched a movie. Wanna guess? Lord of the Rings:Return of the King. Extended, again. So that was another 5 hours. Then we went shopping for Christmas presents for her family and let me just say, we got some awesome stuff. Jimmy texted and invited us to a movie, so we went out with him. We actually ended up missing our movie and decided to go back to the house and watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It's a pretty funny movie. Around 1, again, the movie was over, Jimmy left, and we hit the sack.
On Tuesday, we woke up, made another delicious breakfast of pancakes and bacon, and then sat down to watch TV. I'm pretty sure we were going to make a video, but Katie ended up falling asleep, so I went downstairs and watched... Dun Dun Dun.. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Extended, of course:) I hadn't seen it yet, so I wanted to watch it and see all the cool extra stuff. When I finished the first disk (about 4 hours) Katie was waking up from her nap. Then we worked on a puzzle and watched some movies. Oh, we also stayed up super late and made paper snowflakes and then strung them on some fish wire and hung it across the living room. It looked like snow flakes were falling form the ceiling, like in Harry Potter in the Great Hall. It was so awesome, and so worth staying up till almost 4 am.
Wednesday, we didn't do much. We went to the mall with Kaite's mom and her brother's girlfriend to Christmas shop. After that, we were worn out! So we took a short nap. Then Jimmy came over and we went to Target to make a video for Katie's sister's Christmas present. We interviewed a bunch of random people about Janina, Katie's sister. It was hilarious, because none of these people knew Janina and they just made up their answers. After getting kicked out of Target, we went to Shopko and Smith's. I'd say it was a pretty successful and fun night. But it doesn't end there. Of course we came back to Katie's and watched Adjustment Bureau. Such a good movie. Love Matt Damon. The best part: Jimmy fell asleep. So we messed with him. We took eye liner and drew a very French mustache on him, goatee included. And then when the movie was over we tried waking him up. Like.. 20 times. No Lie. He kept falling back asleep. And when we did eventually get him to get his shoes on and stand up, he was so totally out of it. I was scared for him to drive all the way back to Murray! That's a long drive! But, after a good laugh at him, some ice down his shirt, and some water on his face, he was finally out the door. I've never had more fun waking someone up than I did just then. Finally Katie and I were able to go to bed and I sure wanted to.
Thursday I went to breakfast with a good friend of mine from Alabama, Elizabeth. It was nice to get together with her, as I haven't seen her in over a year. After breakfast, I went home and napped. I was so tired! When Katie got home from lunch with her mom, we continued to nap. Once we woke up, we ate some dinner and then worked on another puzzle. This one was hard because the pieces were all cut the same and the picture we were trying to form made it difficult to discern what piece went where. But, after three hours of hard work and one headache later, we finished it and called it a night.
Today we cleaned. I was leaving and Katie had family coming over, so we did laundry and cleaned up the living room and kitchen. Then we were off the SLC to meet up with Madi's parents. When I got to Madi's house in Kaysville, my friend Breanna came and got me (Madi was one her way back form California) and I went with her family to Temple Square to see the Christmas Lights. It was freezing but beautiful. Jimmy met us up there and we just cruised around town. We almost got to meet David Archuletta. Exciting. Not. Breanna is like in love with him, but I don't see the draw. Yeah, he can sing. Sure, he's pretty attractive. But he's famous. I've always kinda viewed famous people as untouchable. So I wasn't too let down when it turned out he wasn't home. (Back story: Jimmy use to work with David over the summer and I think their sisters are best friends, or something.) Then we finally made out way home. So here I am, 12:30 in the morning, waiting to go pick Madi up from the train station.
This week has worn me out! But, it was totally worth it. I'm totally glad I decided to come to Utah instead of staying in Rexburg alone.
Side note: There was this missionary that served in my ward back in Alabama a couple years ago, Broc Pendleton, who lives in Alpine, which is right next to Orem. Well, he was at the mall the same day I was and I totally spent like, ten minutes staring at him trying to decide if it was him, and he was doing the same. Small world!

I'm Thankful For...

A great many things. First and foremost, I'm grateful for the gospel. I know most people say family and friends, but from the gospel, I can have the most amazing family for time and all eternity, and I can have some spectacular friends who help strengthen my testimony and are wonderful examples to me. I'm so thankful for the wonderful joys the gospel brings to my life. My roommates left me alone this year and as I was sitting here thinking of something to fill my mind, I was able to make s a list of things in my life I wouldn't have if not for the gospel.
The Atonement. The most wonderful and awesome part of my life. The ability to recognize my sins and repent and be cleaned. The comfort that it brings in times of hardship. The peace it brings when all I can feel is anguish. The Atonement is truly a blessing in my life and I'll never stop being grateful for it.
Eternal families. This concept is hard to grasp in the human mind. We think of life on earth incredibly long, when really, compared to the eternities, it's amazingly short. I love my family. So much. More than I tell them. So of course I'd want to have the blessing of being with them forever and ever and ever! And when I'm sealed in the temple to the man of my dreams, a worthy priesthood holder who will love me forever, I'll start my own eternal family. When I think of having kids, my heart swells with joy that I'll be able to raise God's children. But mostly, I'm excited to get to know them and to love them and spend forever with them. Why have a family if it's not going to last forever? Mortality is so short! Definitely not enough time to share with the people I love the most. With an eternal family, I'll have forever. It's a comfort.
Temples. The House of the Lord. What a better place to be than there? The peace and comfort and pure joy it brings into our lives is beyond measure. So many wonderful things happen in this amazing place. My favorite being sealings, and a close second is baptisms for the dead. Every time I go do baptisms, I can feels heavenly Father's approval and love. I know that those I am baptized for are present and I can feel their gratitude. It's such a wonderful feeling. The temple is a great place to be. I love love love that I can literally look up the street and see it. White and pure and beautiful. The temple is my favorite place in the whole world. No matter where you are, if you're in a temple, God is with you. Where else would you want to be?
My family. My parents. My wonderful brothers who look out for me and my heart when I'm stupid and careless with it. My sisters who are more of an inspiration to me that they know. I love them. So much. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father's infinite wisdom in putting me in this family. Oddly enough, they made me into the person I am today. They strengthen me and love me without end, regardless of my mistakes. They don't care. I couldn't have asked for better parents to lead me in this mortal life. They are shining examples in my life and they love me. It's hard to grasp sometimes how much they love me. I don't think I'll ever really know a parent's love until I have my own children. And I hope that when I do, I'll be just as amazing parent to them as my parents were to me.
My friends. I probably have the most amazing compilation of friends anyone could ask for. Sure, I've had friends that come and go in my life, who doesn't? But even then, I've learned from them. I've grown with them. Some have brought me closer to myself, and others have brought me closer to Christ. I am so thankful for their influences and guidance. Once again, Heavenly Father's wisdom proves itself.
I'm grateful for this school. BYU-Idaho. It truly is the Lord's school. So many things have happened that have opened up the path for me to be here today with these amazing people. All because it's what the Lord wanted. I love that I can open class with a prayer and feel the Spirit touching my heart as I study and learn. The proximity of the school to the temple is another blessing in my life. I love that I can walk up the hill before class and do baptisms and receive inspiration.
All of these things have been brought about because of one simple farm boy. I'm so grateful for the prophet Joseph Smith and his sacrifice. I once heard an apostle say that the greatest sacrifice was that of Christ. And the second was that of Joseph Smith.  He laid down EVERYTHING for the word and the world. For me. He didn't know what kind of impact it would make on my life and billions others. But he knew what was true and he didn't let anyone tell him differently. And for that, I'll forever be grateful.
And last but not certainly not least, I'm thankful for God's love. It brings me to tears every time I think about it. In this world, we're led to believe that unless we're perfect, we aren't loved. But in the gospel, we're taught that we're loved because we're not perfect. We are His children. Every single one of us. He loves us so much. It pains Him to see us here going through such trials and hardships, but He loves us, so He let's us endure such things. But he sent us the gospel. He sent us His Only Begotten Son to die for us so that we can live with Him again. It's an amazing thing to feel God's love for us and know that no matter where we are or how we feel, God loves us and wants the best for us. So many times in my life, especially lately, I've had the chance to feel this amazing love and I'll never get use to it. I'll never stop being grateful for it. I only wish everyone knew what I know.

These are just a few of the things I'm grateful. If I tried to write all of my blessings down, it'd take me a few hours. And even then I'd be leaving things out. I hope that this holiday season you've been able to count your blessings. You'll see that even with everything, life is an amazing journey and it will all be worth it in the end:)

A compilation of some awesome pics:)

Halloween

I tried to open it.... Yep..

Me and Evan. My pillow pet my wifey got me for my birthday:)

Me and me when I was a baby. For reals. We look exactly alike. It's odd,

I wanna see your peacock:)

I will eat you. Zombie apocalypse here I come:)

This Is The Oldest I've Ever Been:)

Well this has been an exciting month! I can't believe it's almost over! So weird! Let's start at the beginning:
My birthday.
It's only the best part of the month... Besides General Conference. Which was great. Loved it. But back to the point. For my birthday, my roommates and FHE brothers and sisters threw me a surprise party. Complete with a pinata. Do I have awesome "family" or what? I have probably the best friends out here any girl could ask for. I truly enjoyed my birthday, one of the best I've ever had this year. 

Dora

 

 

Killer Dora

You can't see it, but Bryan (FHE Dad) added the mean eyebrows to dear Dora and then we put some scissors in her hand. I guess she got tired of helping other people find their crap. (Direct quote the the lovely Miss Madi.)
Midterms came and went and I finally got my financial aid. Now I can pay all of my bills and have no more money left over. I AM accepting donations in the form of food, winter jackets (cute but warm), and money.
I just can't believe I've been twenty for two weeks! It's crazy how fast time flies when you're old! But really, I've been having a blast this month.
Last night, Madi and I decided we weren't going to stay in on a Friday night when there were parties to be partied. So, we did our make up kinda funny and headed out. We hit up a party in Hemming Village, but it was pretty lame, so we went to the cheap theater instead. Ryan met us there and we watched The Help. Awesome movie. I suggest you see it. Then we came back here and stayed up till... 3:30 vowing to wake up at 9 to get some work done...  Did that happen? Not really.. More like 11 to eat some cereal and watch TV.

Before the movie

After the movie

Today, Katie and I went with some kids from our complex to shoot guns with our bishop. All together there were 11 of us. Katie, Colten, Ryan, Nick, Ashley, Michael, Janessa, Corbin, Josh, Bishop, and me. It was so fun. We were out in the middle of nowhere Rigby for like three hours shooting at flying targets, dinosaurs/squirrels/gophers, and washing machine doors. I also think there was a bed pan out there that I managed to hit. I also managed to hit the tiny green dinosaur thing from a good 100 yards away and a flying clay pigeon. Go me! We then literally raced home. Well, partially home. On the dirt road back to the paved road, Colten, Bishop, and Nick had a contest to see who could drive the craziest. Yep. Bishop was fish tailin' everywhere, Nick almost t-boned us, and Colten was driving backwards! It was awesome! I felt like I was in an action movie! Haha.

Ryan and I getting thrown around in Colten's truck

Thankfully, Colten was keeping his eyes on the road when Katie and I took this

Me, Ashley, Janessa, Micheal, and Corbin in the back photobombing us

Waiting in line to shoot:)

This is when I hit the clay pigeon Katie threw

He does the signature Pixar face really well, Corbin does

I don't know why he is making that face...

Us girls:)

After that, Ryan and I went for a quick run to Walmart which turned into an hour and a half run to Walmart, D.I., Walmart again, Albertson's, and then Broulims. But! I managed to get this amazing costume for Monday and also some ingredients for some delicious cookies I'm going to try and cook tomorrow. Super excited for that. Then, I wound down the night with a good movie and some good friends.
Some pretty crazy stuff has happened this month. It's been a blast and I hope the rest of the semester is as amazing as this month has been.

Singing in the Stadium

What a trip! I love stadium singing! For those of you who don't know what it is, basically, students and locals gather under the stadium at 9:30 on Sunday nights every week and sing hymns a Capella for half an hour. It's so awesome. The Spirit is so strong there. You don't have to be a good singer. You don't have to know the songs. As long as you have access to a hymnal, you're good.
I love starting my week like this. It's such a high. I just come out of there feeling good and I go to sleep with hymns buzzing around my head. It's such a great experience. Last fall and winter I wasn't really in to it. I kinda wanted to go, but no one wanted to go with me and so I never went. But now, the kids from the complex all go and it's a great way to get to know each other. You grow so close spiritually to these people you are singing with. Tonight, we actually had a random girl come and start singing with us and then she gave us all hugs when she left! It's was so weird, but not weird at the same time. I love it.
So far I've been pretty amazing. My roommates are such a great support for me, even though they don't realize how important they are to me. I've made some great friends with the people in my complex and with the people from my ward. They are all super awesome.
I love that I can walk up to the temple whenever the heck I want and do baptisms. It's such a great privilege to have a temple so close to the school. I'm definitely taking advantage of it as much as I can. I love looking across town and seeing the temple there standing like a beacon to us. It's beautiful and peaceful. I love the blessings it brings to me.
I'm going to hit the hay while I still have "If You Could Hie to Kolob" stuck in my head.

Climbing the Butte and Jumping the Monkey

So much has happened! I'm making awesome friends and really coming to love my roommates.
As some of you know, my complex is boy/girl/ Meaning there is a boys building and a girls building. Four apartments each. Six people per apartment. We've really gotten to know the people in our complex and I can honestly say I love all of them. They are all super special people with such strong testimonies. It's like a spiritual vortex when you walk into the parking lot.
There is this mini mountain over by R mountain called Menan Butte. Michael, Nick, and I climbed it one night in hopes of watching the sunset. Well, we got a little lost and didn't get to the top of the mountain in time, but we trekked on. The climb was difficult but totally worth it. From the top, you can see all of Rexburg. It was gorgeous. Especially the temple. Once again, it was illuminated at the top of the town, the brightest light out there. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. As the three of us made our way back down, the sketchy way, we made plans to go back and watch the sun rise. That will be fun.
This past Saturday Michael, Corbin and I went to this place over by St. Anthony called Monkey Rock. It's pretty much just a mini waterfall. But what's really great is that about 400 yards up from the waterfall there is a bridge that is about 30 feet above the river that people jump off of. So, guess what we did. Yep. We jumped it. Let me tell you. I've jumped higher. But this was still pretty scary. Because you could see the rocks on the bottom and it looked higher than it actually was. After Michael jumped.. Twice.. I finally pushed myself off and took the plunge. What a rush! But the landing.. Wow. OUCH! I jumped from a sitting position, and managed to land on my right side mostly. Hot dang. That was painful. The water was so cold, it knocked the wind out of me! I could barely make it to the river's edge. But it was so fun. I couldn't bring myself to jump again, though. Maybe if the water had been warmer.. But Michael did a back flip. That was totally worth watching. I came out with some battle wounds. I have this big bruise on my upper arm and spotted bruises on my thigh. My thigh and arm were swollen all day yesterday. But like I said, totally worth it.
This semester is going by so stinkin' fast. I'm so excited. So far I'm doing great in my classes and loving it. I'm sure that will go away as soon as it starts snowing, though. But for now, I'm living life and loving every minute of it.

Rexburg: Part 2

I'm back in "The Burg". And I love it.
I've reconnected with some old roommates. Connected straight up with my new roommates. Made new friends and met my niece. She's super sweet.
I've been ultra busy.
Yesterday I unpacked and hung out with Ellie some. And I had dinner with Keaton. Some of you may know him as Elder Benson. He served in my ward last summer and is now in the same apartment complex as me. I visited with my brother and sister and their kids and then came back here and crashed. I was soo tired.
Today I got to hang out all day with Sonja. We ran errands and watched movies. We got Little Ceasers pizza with... CRAZY CRUST!! Neither of us have the option of crazy crust at home, so we were super excited to get some when we came back. We brought it back to my place and tried to watch a movie, but we couldn't get our TV to go to the right channel. So we took our movie, our pizza and our DVD player to Keaton's and watched it there. Super fun. And then Sonja and I went a chilled in the "back yard" and took a mini nap and played on the swing set they have and threw around a football. Then we went to Jedi's for dinner. Played the Wii, played with Piper (cute as can be) and then hit up Green Lantern at the cheap theater with Keaton. And now I'm super tired. Tomorrow I get to go to the temple. I can't think of a better way to start the semester than at the temple with people I love.
I'm super happy to be back here. I forgot how much I love it here. The people are just super nice and the weather is amazing and the landscape is gorgeous. I missed seeing Jedi and Aubrie whenever I wanted. I missed Tucker and his cute sayings and I missed Piper, even though she was super young when I left. I'm so glad to be back. I feel at home. I know what to do this semester tho. I guess you can say that last year was a trial run that I failed. But this time around, I will totally do things right. More work, less play, makes Auvie get straight A's.
The summer was a whorl wind of emotions that I have grown from. I'm so grateful to be back here on stable ground. I'm so grateful for Christ and his atonement and the rock He was to me when I was being flung around. I've learned to depend more on Him and less on myself. I can't do it alone and I don't have to. I guess I didn't know that last year, but this time I do and I'm better for it.

Let the Count Down Begin

Wow. Well, in case I haven't already told you a billion times, I am for sure going back to school in the fall. I know it was all up in the air last week, but as of Sunday, I have all of my classes registered and I'm currently working on an apartment. I can't even begin to describe how excited I am.

But I'm going to try anyways.

I know not too long ago I was a little iffy about going back to Idaho. But then I decided that Idaho is where I need to be. And that hasn't changed. I put aside my fears and trusted in the Lord.. But then, when I saw that I was back in, those fears started creeping in again. All of these "What if's" I had before came back to mind. And then the pounding in my chest wasn't because of excitement, but because of a nervous anticipation. I'm so ready to be back in school. I can literally feel my IQ drop every day I'm not learning something new. I'm a dork, I know; but I love learning. It's... Fun? Don't hate. But even then, that didn't over power my anxiety about going back. Sometimes I still wonder if it's the best idea.

I texted a friend of mine from Book of Mormon class and he said he was happy I am coming back. He was pretty excited to hear that we could pick up our morning routine again. He missed me:) That really helped me get over this feeling I had. I was worried that I wouldn't fit in. That people would be able to see through me and see my mistakes. But I have come to realize this is all in my head. Once again I'm excited to be going back. This time I'll be more prepared. I kind of feel like last year was my trial year and I failed so hard. But I'm given another chance and I'm not going to mess it up.

Don't get me wrong, I will miss Alabama and the people I know here. I have grown so close to so many new people, it's ridiculous. It's just what I needed. It helped me remember that I can make friends and that people do like me for me. I can't believe I ever thought any different.

I'm going to go out with a bang. Would you expect any less of me? I have about four weeks left and I plan on spending as much time as I can partying it up and throwing it down. Care to join me?

Stay tuned for more; this is just the beginning.



P.S. I have used the semicolon twice in this post, and I used it correctly. Be proud! My IQ hasn't dropped THAT much!

Adventures in Alabama

Well yesterday I went with Sugoi, Kevin, Kinsman, and Andy to Alabama Adventures for a little while. It's the first time I had gone in like, two years. It was a blast, that's for sure. I rode one water ride, and waited for Kinsman, Andy, and Kevin to come down the huge slide that makes me want to throw up just looking at it. Then we headed off to the real rides. We rode Buzz Saw Falls. Now, it's not your typical log ride. This is like, ultimate log ride to the max. The front of the cart is shaped so that when you hit the water at the bottom, it creates this HUGE splash of water. It creates, like, a tunnel you go through. It was awesome. But, let me tell you, the best part is after the ride, when  you stand on the bridge that is right in front of where the cart lands. Oh man. This girl, maybe about 15, got thrown on the ground by the force of this epic splash. It was so totally wicked.
After that, Sugoi and Kevin went to find refreshment while Kinsman, Andy, and I went to continue our adventure. We rode the Stratus Fear. You get strapped into these seats and it slings you straight up into the air and then you fall, and then you go up again, and then you fall. And you repeat that a couple more times. It's way fun. It helps me over come my fear of falling. Then we rode the slingshot ride. I can't remember what it's called, but it's pretty much a slingshot with loops and barrel rolls. So funn. Except it made my head hurt and my stomach didn't like it all that much either.
Finally we met up with Sugoi and Kevin to eat and drink and be merry... Ok, maybe not. We did eat and drink and then we took our seats in the stadium thing they have to wait for Mike Posner to come out and sing to us. It was a pretty enjoyable concert. I didn't know most of his songs, but he is a good stage performer. Around the time it was time to go, I'm pretty sure my ears were about to burst. These two annoying girls behind us were screaming every five seconds at a pitch level I didn't know could be reached by a human. They sure did prove me wrong.
Once we got into the parking lot, we noticed that there was a couple making out in their car.. We really couldn't just leave them be. So we drove around them once, just to make sure that they actually were making out. And then Kinsman jumped out, pounded on their window, and ran away. I'm pretty sure that couple won't be making out in well lit parking lots any time soon.
Finally we were home. Once my head hit that pillow, I was out like a light. But it was definitely and enjoyable day. Now, I must go nap or I won't make it through the rest of the day.

Jimmy Time

Well, well, well. So much has happened since my last post. Mostly I've been working, failing at saving up for school. So far I have pretty much spent all of my pay check. I literally live pay check to pay check and I hate it. I'm working on it, I really am. But it's not going to well.
Last weekend I went with Morgan Lane to her mothers camper in Pell City and I got to see her country side. Man, I thought she was country before, but no. The Morgan I saw last weekend is country Morgan. It was amazing. I also got to meet her wonderful mother, and her new friend Jesse. He took us to dinner at Waffle House. That was quite the adventure. Afterwards we went swimming in the lake. I floated around staring up at the stars thinking about how beautiful it is. I wish I could have grown up like that. Being able to float in the lake on a hot summers night and stare up at the stars and just think. I thought about a lot of things. Nothing huge or important. I just pondered over my life and my actions. Some of them I'm not too happy about and some of them are the best things ever. Like meeting Morgan. That's probably the best thing that could have happened to me since I have moved here. She is just... Amazing. I love her to death. She's taught me a great deal about love and life and I owe her so much. After we went swimming we played card games.. We didn't even get through one round of Gold Fish (yes, GOLD fish, not GO fish) before we got bored. SO we moved on to B.S. I won. Of course. IDK why Morgan never called me out, she always knew when I was lying. But hey, it's what best friends do, I guess. LOL
We finally rolled into bed around 3 in the a.m. And whew! I was wiped out! But it was a great night and I definitely don't regret it. We had to wake up barely three hours later because I had things at home to do and she had work to get to. That was soooooo hard!!! Only three hours of sleep! That's not even a nap for me! I don't know how I made it home. Maybe because of the biscuit Morgan bought me? Or the fact that even though we were in different cars, we managed to dance to the same songs. Who knows? We're a wild bunch... Well, pair.
I attempted to sleep, and failed so hard at that. So I got up and helped my mother a bit with the kids she was watching for Victoria, who was around the corner building her house. Eventually I made my way down there, helped raise one wall and then called it quits. I didn't even make it through my lunch break. I crashed pretty much as soon as I laid down on my bed and slept for four hours. I woke refreshed and ready for anything.
So I went and hung out with some friends in Wilsonville and stayed out entirely too late, like always. I feel like this summer is a plethora of late nights and early mornings. I'm going to be burnt out before I even start up at school again!
On Sunday Morgan came and visited me and we hung out. We realized we owned the same shirt, so I convinced her to wear it to FHE and match me. We looked so cute! LOL. We picked up Russell and according to Morgan "He's so cool. Hehe". Morgan and I have actually decided that he is the male us. It's weird but awesome. I feel like we have gone from the Dynamic Duo to the Terrific Trio. But that's for later..
Fhe was... Something. I had fun catching up with everyone I hadn't seen in a week. We aren't having it next Sunday and boy! Two weeks with out seeing these kids! I don't know how I'll survive... A trip to Pell City this weekend will just have to suffice:)
Today. Oh boy. This is the real stuff right here. I got off work semi early and came home and... I honestly can't remember. I know I was on my computer doing what I do best: Funny websites. But I think my brain decided to take a nap until Morgan called me, because I really have no idea what I was doing. Well, she called me and told me to look pretty (when don't I??) and that she was coming for me. We got together to do something and when we couldn't decide what to do, we decided to find someone who could. So we picked up Russell. Oh boy. Best decision of the day!! He is definitely a fun kid. Funner than I remember him being. Maybe his mission and his best friend's marriage has loosened him up? Well, whatever it was, I like it!
We hit up Books a Million, like the nerds we are. But after a while Morgan got bored, so we put food in Russell's belly and headed to the park. He introduced us to a game called Monkey on the Ground. It's like Marco Polo but on a jungle gym. That was pretty funny. I'm pretty sure the guys playing basket ball thought I was insane when I started screaming cause Russell was trying to reach me through the bars. But hey, what the heck! It was fun and I felt young again. Then it was off to my house to get some appropriate cow tipping clothing. Sadly, we couldn't find any cows to tip.. This time. The cows we did find were protected with electricity, and no way am I messing with that stuff. No sir/ma'am. We stole some corn and trespassed on someone's property. When we were walking through the corn rows Morgan and I managed to lose Russell... That, of course, didn't end well. We told him that if he made us scream he'd walk home. But still, he sneaked up behind me and had me screaming like a child. Which of course startled Morgan.. And the dogs.. And that's when we booked it back to the car, with our three ears of corn. It wasn't the BEST because it was still pretty young, but it tasted good because it was stoled. Haha. Oh the things we get in to. After that, Morgan and I came to the conclusion that Russell must hang out with us a bit more. So we tasked him, when we dropped him at home, with coming up with more things to do the next time we had Jimmy Time. (That's what we call it when we get together because we ride in Morgan's Jimmy.) And now the night is winding down. We both have tons of things to do in the morning. And the morning being 5 hours from now.. Joy. Why do we do this to ourselves, Morgan?
Well, that pretty much sums up what I've been up to. This summer is getting to be... SUPER FANTASTIC!!!! Good knight:)

Building a House or Building a Home?

On Saturday I went with A lady in my ward, Victoria, and my friend Brittany to a Builders Blitz in Birmingham. It was super hot, but amazingly cool.
I had always wanted to do Habitat for Humanity and so I jumped at the first chance I got to help out a friend and gain some experience. The volunteers there helping were from all over. Though technically, most of them lived on the same block and had just become home owners. There were also a group all the way from Georgia there to help. I met some pretty interesting people, but my favorite is the shark diver.
This woman is an avid adventurer and has been scuba diving with sharks.  I think that's awesome. She is a school teacher who works with at risk kids and when she's not at school, she's out doing some awesome stuff. Bungee jumping, scuba diving, sky diving, ect. That's pretty much how I want to be when I get old. And she wasn't even old! Younger than my mom! But that's how I'd like to be when I'm older.
It was a really awesome experience, building a house. As we were putting up this plastic stuff that goes between the ply wood and the insulation, we were doing a horrible job and we couldn't help but comment on how if this were our house we would want it to be perfect. So we put more effort into making it perfect, working as if we were building our own place.
I kept thinking to myself, whenever I would get tired or frustrated, that this isn't just any house we are building. A real family is moving in to their first home, and that kept me going. I just had to keep telling myself that I wasn't just building a house, I was building a home. There is a difference, ya know. It's something I tell myself when I'm at work during the week. That I'm doing the customer a service and helping out their mind at ease. I'm helping make their house a sanctuary they can come to at the end of the day. I know that sounds dumb, but it keeps me going when I've been scrubbing bathrooms and kitchens all day.
Saturday pretty much killed me. I slept through Sunday, being awake just long enough to get ready for church, drive to church, drive home from church, watch Hell Boy II and then go to FHE. I'd say about... 6 hours in total. The rest was spent sleeping. I really didn't think it would be that bad, but it was. I guess it's just the beginning, because once they start to build Victoria's house behind mine, I'm gonna be there every chance I get. It was definitely an awesome experience and I'm really glad that I got to help out.

Nightmares and Stuff

I've been having nightmares about going back to Rexburg. I don't see it as a sign, but I definitely don't like them. I get very little sleep at night thanks to them and I awake unrefreshed and not ready for work at all.
It started off just normal dreams about walking through campus and meeting up with old friends and classmates. Nothing to frightening.
But then Greg started showing up and that's when they turned from sweet dreams to horrible nightmares.
He was everywhere, at first in the background, just taunting me.
And then he was interacting with my dream-people. It was pretty bad. I hated it. But at least he wasn't talking to me.
That didn't last very long. Suddenly he was talking to me. I don't even remember anything he said to me, but I do know that I woke up with a wet pillow and tear filled eyes. Not much different from my nights after we first stopped talking. It's horrible. I hate it.
And I love it. That's what I hate the most. That a little, tiny, itty-bitty part of me enjoys him intruding in my dreams because it's the only time I ever get to interact with the man that was once my best friend. It's a double sided sword, or something. I hate it and I love it and I hate that I love it. So many contradicting emotions.
I've pretty much decided that I'm going to sleep as little as possible, just to avoid these encounters.
I thought I was done with it. With everything that happened between us. I had hoped and prayed I was passed all of that crap, but I guess some wounds just don't heal properly. I had also hoped work would take my mind off things, but no such luck. I find myself cleaning a bathroom and thinking "what if". I find myself vacuuming and wondering why it fell apart. I guess doing a monotonous job isn't going to help take my mind off anything.
But I'll live. I think...
Now, don't go thinking that I'm still hung up over this boy. Cause I'm not. I guess you could say I'm hung up over my stupid actions and I keep wondering how I could have acted differently or what I could have done to make things not end so badly. But it's all in the past, I guess.
I miss the old me. The me I was before Idaho. When I was still in high school. The me that believed in happily ever after. The me that trusted with out reserve. I miss me. Hopefully some day I can find me again. That would be super awesome.
I think going back to Idaho, despite my fears and worries, will help me find me. I caught a glimpse of that person my first semester before I got tangled up in all that is Greg and lost sight of her. I'm going to try super hard to find her again.
Until then tho, I will trust in the Lord and know that He knows what's going on.

One Week Down, 14 Left

Well, I can't say I didn't pick a boring job. This week, I learned how to "properly" clean a house. And let me tell you, it's not easy, at all. There are a bout a million steps for every type of room; the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the kitchens, the front rooms, the laundry rooms, and so on. It'sit's ridiculous. But, it gets the job done and gets me paid. So it's not horrible. I really like my manager. He's a fun guy. Easy to work with and laid back. On Monday I'll go out with the twins, Annette and Shannette, to clean real houses and work on my speed. Because at the training house, it took me about two hours per room.. And it's supposed to take about two hours to clean a house! So, hopefully I get fast, because I only get a week to learn how to go quickly, then I'm off on my own to clean by myself. It's really not that bad. I thought it would be a lot worse than it actually is. And, it gives me something to do. I'm not just laying around the house anymore, I'm making it possible for other people to just lay around.. LOL But really, it's not bad. I like being able to say "I can't cause I have work" or "I can't wait to get paid" or whatever. It will be nice to actually earn my keep:)

Also, it will be nice to get my mind of things. Ever since I decided to go back to Idaho, I've been thinking about what happened last time I was there and I've decided that it's in the past and I just need to move on. I know that Idaho is where I need to be, for whatever reason. And I shouldn't let the past stand in my way. Yeah, problems might arise, but, with the help of the Lord, I should be able to face them. I can't be scared or worried about what happens. Last time I lost trust in the Lord, I went down a path I shouldn't have. So I'm remembering to keep my mind focused on the Lord and what He would have me do, like that song we sang as children says "The Lord provides a way, He wants us to obey" I will go and do what He wants me to do, and if that means going to Idaho and running into Greg, then so be it.

I'm grateful for this job. I feel like it will teach me things I need to know for my future life, as a wife, mother, and friend. Let's just hope that I can give to it as much as I get from it.

And so it begins...

I started my very first day of work today:)
I came home feeling accomplished, and tired and a tad bit sore in the back..
But, I'm finally doing something with myself. Doing something productive. Providing for myself.
It won't be easy. I'll have to change my whole routine. Go to bed earlier, wake up earlier. Text less. It will definitely not be easy. But it will totally be worth it.
Wish me luck! I'll keep you updated:)
BTW, I work for this maid service called Merry Maids. Basically, I clean homes for a living. Like the Mexican maid in Family Guy.. Except less funny and more work... But that's who I'll be for Halloween:)

One Heck of a Week

Well, this week has been quite the adventure. On Monday, one of my best friends was in an accident involving a train. Thank the Lord she is okay, just a little banged up. But that was super scary. I don't know what I'd do if she had died. I'd certainly be even more of a mess than I am now.
On Thursday, I had a job interview with a maid service in Hoover. I'm fairly certain I got the job, as long as I pass the drug test, which I'm sure I will, I studied real hard for it;) Also, I made tie dye shirts with Sugoi and Morgan. That was super fun. It made me feel like I was in the 6th grade again. The magic of tie dye still amazes me. I mean, I know how it works, but it's so awesome to see a plain white t-shirt turn into something that looks like an explosion of color and design, simply by folding/twisting it and putting some rubber bands around it. We also made some bandannas. They turned out pretty sweet. Meanwhile, we also made pizza and an assortment of cookies. Peanut butter cookies with mini Reese Cups in the middle; sugar cookies wrapped around mini bars of Snickers, Twix, and Milky Ways; and chocolate chip cookies with cut up candy bars mixed it. Delicious! While our shirts were setting, we made veggie pizza and took it, along with some cookies, to Kaitlyn's house. It's her favorite type of pizza, and she is stuck inside all day (being hit by a train will do that to you). So, we went to visit her and bring her goodies. We also had made her a shirt, but it wasn't done yet. I then stayed the night at Morgan's and we sat in the hot tub and just talked. It was nice to have someone to talk to.
On Friday, we finished our shirts then headed to the park to take pictures with Sugoi. We looked so cute! LOL. Then Morgan and I headed into Calera to set up a few things. But, I can't tell you what just yet. Then we went back to my place and wrote on our shirts. We made Team Kaitlyn shirts, and wrote our names on the back with the number 12, which is the year Kaitlyn graduates. After they were finished drying, we donned ours and took Kaitlyn hers. She loved it, of course. Then we headed off to Relay for Life at the park. It was a different experience this year. I haven't ever actually known anyone who has had cancer, and then all the sudden someone who has become really important to me has been a survivor since she was nine. She's so strong! It was something different to actually know someone who has been through this horrible thing not once, but three times and still be the wonderful girl she is today. BTW, I'm talking about Morgan Lane. She's so strong and I'm so grateful to have her in my life.
Today, after a busy week, I've done pretty much nothing. I cleaned, had a delicious breakfast, and then went and looked, unsuccessfully, at cars. And then I went and watched my bestest friend in her senior play. Brianna was Belle in her high schools production of Beauty and the Beast. She did such a wonderful job!!! And then I finally got to hang out with her. I haven't spent any time with her outside of church since before I went to Idaho and so it was wonderful, even if it only lasted half an hour. Oh how I had missed her. She is so important to me and my sanity. LOL
It has been one heck of a week and one heck of a way to start off the summer..

Olive Garden: The Dining Experience of a Lifetime

OK, that may be a bit exaggerated. But, let me tell you, I loved it.
Kaitlyn Minor and I went there for lunch today and it was very very enjoyable. I ordered this Chicken and Shrimp Carbenero stuff and I didn't want the shrimp, because I don't like fish. But when James (our server) brought it to me, it had shrimp:( He apologized profusely and even offered to bring me something else! But I declined because it smelled delicious. And it was! Except the shrimp. I almost threw up. But, I managed to just spit out the shrimp that was all chewed up in my mouth and keep what was in my stomach where it belongs, in my stomach. He asked if there was anything else he could get us and Kaitlyn said if he brought me chocolate, I'd be happy. So.. He did! He brought me chocolate mousse. OMG. So good. The manager in site came out and asked me about my lunch and what I didn't like and he even got Kaitlyn some mousse, even though her order wasn't messed up. The food was delicious. The service was awesome. And my friend just made it all the better. We had a great time catching up and talking and making new inside jokes. Even though I didn't like the shrimp, the rest of my dish was amazing. Heaven in my mouth. Fo' reals. I definitely recommend it! And, if you're ever in the area, go to the Olive Garden in Alabaster and ask for James. He was great! Quite possibly my new favorite restaurant!

2AM and Still No Sleep

It's almost 2 in the morning and I can't sleep. Strange, because I was always able to sleep before. In fact, I love sleep. So why, you ask, am I not asleep?
I have had a lot on my mind, as of late. And it's weighing me down.
I have to decide if I want to go back to Idaho, back to BYU-I. Back to a place where... I do not particularly want to be. Which is weird, right? If I don't actually want to be there, then why should my decision be so hard? It should be simple, yes? But no.. Because the REASON I don't want to be there is.... Selfish? Is that the right word? I don't want to be there because there are people there that will only cause me pain. And I don't think I'm strong enough for that. Not yet at least.
But, I feel like if I don't go back, I'll be giving up completely. Like saying "Here, you have Idaho. You win." And.. Well, he doesn't win. I loved being out there. I loved my roommates. I loved my teachers. I loved the campus. I hated to cold, but got used to it.. Somewhat. I don't want to give all of that up because I'm weak. I need to be there. I want to be there. But I don't want to be there. I'm afraid it might hurt. I KNOW it will hurt, for a while at least. It did when I came home, for so many reasons, but it did. I just.. So many emotions. I have to make my decision soon tho. To go, or not to go. That is the question. LOL
So here I am. At 2AM. Pondering over this, and something else that is entirely to personal for me to blog about.
A wise friend once said that she takes her problems to the Lord. I'm doing that. But sometimes it's nice to write it all down just do get it out.. You know?
Well, maybe Robin Hood will put me to sleep. Farewell!

At a Crossroads..

Well, I just sent in my application for the University of Montevallo.
I figure, I need to know where I'm going, and if I decide to stay in state this summer, I need a school to attend. So, a few people have been bugging me to go there, so I sent in my application.
I feel like I've given up on ever returning to Idaho..
I haven't. I really haven't. I'm just not sure where I'll be when school comes around, and I'm not sure if Idaho is where I should be, not anymore.
I don't want people to think that I'm giving up on Idaho. I'm just not sure if I can return there and not have issues. I might run into certain people that I'm not quite prepared to meet. I'm not sure if I can handle that, not now at least, and I don't know about in five months..
So, University of Montevallo is my Plan B. If I get accepted and I feel it's right, then I'll go there.. But, for now, no promises. I still have no idea what I want to do. But, like I said before. I'm taking a jump. And hopefully that jump will land me in the right waters..

The Cliffs of Life

Today has been the greatest day of the week. I went with my dear friends Jenn, Britt, and Thom to a place up past Gadsden to..... CLIFF DIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew! It was sooo incredibly amazing!! So fun on so many levels! Literally!
At first, we had to climg over and across some rocks just to get to a decent cliff and that was scary, I'll tell you what! There was one rock we had to climb up on that was over 6 feet tall! That was scary because on either side was a stright drop into rocky waters. But, we did it! And then, once we got to the ledge, that's when the real fun started.
Now, I have this rational fear of falling. Not so much landing, or heights, though height has to do with my fear, falling is what kills me. The weightlessness you feel as you leave solid ground and the rush you get when your stomach jumps into your heart. Wow. It's incredible, and yet terrifying all at once!
And then there is the heigth. See, I'm not afraid of heights when I know I run no risk of falling. But, put me close to an edge of something higher up that 10 feet and I want to die. However, if I were somewhere, like say the Grand Canyon, I'd be fine. Because for some reason, I know I'm safe, It's strange, I know.
But I love thrill as well. So, asking me to jump off of a 50-some foot cliff into ICE COLD water, and I'm all for it... Till we get to the cliff. Then I pussy-foot around for ten minutes.
But today, today I took that plunge into the great unknown (OK, maybe not so great and unknown, but still) and let me tell you, it was so exhilirating. Not knowing where you'll land or when. Just trusting that the air rushing past your ears and through your hair means you're going down, and that you'll be there soon. It's awe inspiring.
The water was so cold when I landed. It about took my breath away. I couldn't hardly swim! But, I loved it! I loved jumping! It was so fun! And once I finally got out of the water, I warmed up and, even though I didn't want to do it again, I was proud of myself for jumping and beating my fear.
This experience, this fun filled day, has taught me a lot. I know I've mentioned once or twice a friend that I don't know where I'm going, or what I want to do with myself anymore. That my life is in pieces and I don't know how to put it back together. But, I've realized that I don't have to know WHERE to start, I jsut have to start. I don't have to know where this will lead me (right now anyways), I just have to make a desicion, because right now, I'm standing on the edge of the cliff. And I need to make the jump. The jump that will start a new life for me. I'm not sure about hings as I once was, and that scares me. But, I don't have to be sure about everything. I just have to make decisions that will help me get to where I KNOW I want to be: with my Heavenly Father. So, for now, I'll take the first jump. I'll do something that will hopefully put me on the path I need to be. And when the next cliff arrives, I'll jump that one. And I'll keep jumping and jumping. And hopefully, I'll get where I need to be.

I don't know what to say..

I've written this post about three times now, and I have no idea what to say. I've changed the topic so many times. And I still don't know what to say.. There is so much on my mind right now.
I'm missing an old friend. She was someone I looked up to, and I admit, I stalked her blog to see how she is doing. I was happy to find she is great. That brings me great joy. I miss her. I miss our talks. Her advice. She would know what to tell me right now, if I could just talk to her. But, our friendship is gone. Maybe some time in the future, I can talk to her again. But for now, I've accepted our fate. Our paths are not meant to cross anymore, even though they were so enter twined before. All I can do now is read her blog, and know that she is doing well. That's way more than I could ever ask for.
I also just got done watching a movie. it's called Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration. It's my all time favorite movie. Every time I watch it, I'm reassured that this is the true church. That bro. Joseph really is a man called of God, and those prophets that followed are, too. It baffles me that people don't see it. I admit, sometime my vision is foggy, but, when I think about the hell he went through, and his faith, my sight is cleared. His place beside the throne of God was made sure the minute he died for God's cause. For this sweet, sweet gospel. No other person can testify of the truthfulness of this church, than him. And for that, I'm thankful.
The gospel has been such a blessing in my life. I'm so grateful for it. Without it, I would be a very different person. I wouldn't have the love and friendship I do now. I wouldn't know the people I know and have the experiences I have. I'm not perfect, but that's the thing, isn't it. You don't have to be. You just have to try to be perfect, and that's all we can do. The gospel allows for repentance and forgiveness. I've had to use the Atonement so many times in my short life. But that's what it's there for. To use and use and use. Without it, I would never be able to see my Father again. And boy, do I miss Him. I miss Him like no other. Which is weird, cause I don't remember Him. I just know He loves me. And I can feel His love through this gospel. You couldn't ask for anything more than that. To know and feel His arms around you, in every moment of your life. Knowing that He misses you, and wants to see you again and take you in His arms and have you home again, it's just so over whelming.
Sometimes I feel like I'll never get there again. And that just kills me. It would be like me moving out of the house and then never being able to see my parents again. I went six months like that and by the end of it, I couldn't have been more happy to be home. So, everyday, I do my best to do the things that will help me return to my Father's kingdom. To hug Him and hear Him say "Welcome home, my daughter."
I know this gospel will take me there. And I'm going to do everything I can to get there.

Sand, Sweat, Sun

I'm sitting at home on Friday bored out of my mind, trying to think of what I can do that night to entertain myself when suddenly, Meredith Woods text me saying that her and Lauren wanted to get a bunch of Lily's friends to come surprise her at the beach this weekend. Yes!! Finally, a reprieve from my mundane life! Nathan then texts me and says that he is going to go down, if I wanted a ride. Things were working out great! So, Skylar and I go to the store to get a few things and then back home to pack. Nathan come and got us, and then we were on the road trip. It was quite the trip. So fun.I really got to know Nathan during that drive. It was totally fun.
Finally we arrive at Perdido Key, FL. Lauren's cousin has a condo out there that they were staying at and they had tons of room, so we stayed there, too. It was gorgeous! We surprised Lily with a song and some cup cakes, then we headed down to the beach for a midnight walk and to crab. Apparently, when you crab, you hunt for crabs, and then you put them in the same bucket and watch them fight. Kinda inhumane, but highly entertaining. We only were able to find one crab, so we let him go with a promise to come back the next night and try again.
Finally, we all crawl into bed at 3. I actually couldn't believe I was there, so I thought I was going to wake up back here in Calera. But, I didn't! I woke up in Florida! Haha, it was 7:30. The earliest I had been awake in weeks. We all got up and headed down to the beach for a few hours before General Conference started. I laid out and caught some rays. It felt great. And when I got hot, I just took a dip in the ocean. Man! it was great!
When it was time for conference, we headed back to eat and listen to it. It was kinda sketchy because the internet was bad, so the video kept skipping. But once it was over, we hopped back in the car and headed back to the beach! The weather by then had warmed up and gotten a bit breezier, but it was still awesome.
A couple of us decided to just stay at the beach instead of going back to watch conference, simply because we would just fall asleep and wanted to nap at the beach instead. As we were snoozing, Jacob started to dig to China. LOL. A couple people would come a comment but my favorite would have to be the little kid who came over and asked Jake if he could cuddle with Jake in the hole. This kid was on some sort of drug, Jake could see his hospital bracelet and his arm was in a cast. But it was just hilarious to listen to their conversation.  The poor kid probably had no idea what he was saying. He seemed to think that Alabama was in Russia. Strange. But, finally he left and Jake was done with the hole. So, I volunteered to get buried! It was quite the experience. The sand felt nice because it was cool, but after a while it started to get heavy and it became hard to breath. So, Jake dug me out, and I took a dip in the water to rinse off as much as I could before we went home for dinner. But, I can finally say I've been buried and I can now bury others. Haha
We went to dinner at this place called the Crab Trap. Just some seafood place. But since I don't like seafood, I ordered a hamburger. Original, I know. But hey, it's okay to not like seafood. At least, that's what the menu said. Afterwards, some of the guys wanted to go to the priesthood session at the local chapel, so the rest of us drove in to Pensacola, thinking we were gonna walk to strip. Instead, we went to an ice cream place similar to Cold Stone called The Marble Slab. The ice cream was delicious. The ride was hilarious. Rachel Dean and the BEST laugh ever. It's so contagious and spontaneous. I love it! Next, we went to Gulf Shores in search for souvenir shops so that Nathan could get a t-shirt as proof he was there. Finally, we headed back to the room and most of us were dead. So, we cleaned up a bit, and then the guys, minus Jared, and Lily went crabbing again. I was in bed by midnight. It was great.
Sunday we woke up early, cleaned the condo in preparation to leave, and then we headed back to the beach one last time. We were there for about an hour, and then we went to get some food from this pizza place next to where we were. Then we went to this place called the Happy Shack. The sign in the front says "Walk in for a free hug", Wow. Yeah. It really said that. I managed to walk out with a small brown bag. Haha. Not suspicious at all, I'd say.
I rode home with Meredith, Lily, and Lauren. Meredith drives just like me. Fast and impatient. We tried listening to conference, but it kept buffering, so instead I took a nap. The ride back was pretty chill. We went straight to Lauren's to drop her off and then to Lily's to pick up her brother and then off to FHE. We were a bit early, so we just ate the rolls left over from the Bozeman's lunch and chilled. I was soo beat by then though. And my skin was starting to get hot from being sun burned.
We discussed the talks given during conference, and then played some games. It was a pretty relaxing night. Nothing special. But still fun. The second I got home, I checked my Facebook and emails, and then hit the pillows. I was out by midnight. It was soo nice to sleep in, but disappointing not to wake up to sounds of the ocean. But, I guess I'll live.
I'm definitely going to go back this summer. Take Brianna with me before we head to the hell which is Rexburg. LOL

X's on the back of my hand...

Oh yes. X's. As in "You can be in this club, but you aren't old enough to drink." I've never felt younger while still feeling old. Haha

I went Saturday night to a cafe in B'ham called Bottletree Cafe. Pretty much the best bar I've ever been too. Haha. I went with Jen, Nate, Thomas, and Will. They were doing this Found Footage Festival and Nate and Jen just had to see it. So we went. It was totally funny. What these two guys do is go around the country and find old VHS's in thrift stores and find the funny ones and cut and paste the funniest parts to make a collage of sorts. It's hilarious. Most of the tapes are of course from the 80's and the hair styles and clothing just crack me up.

Afterwards we went to WorkPlay to a dance party called Kids Got The Disco. There we met up with Derek, his cousins and gf, and Brittany. That's when the party started. We danced our little hearts out for what felt like forever.

We partied hard  into the night. I didn't get home until 4:30. Yes, in the A.M. Whew! I was beat at church the next day. But! I didn't fall asleep once! I waited to crash till I got home. Haha.
It was super fun. I love those guys. Next time we go out tho, we're gonna hit the gay clubs. That way, us girls don't have to worry about creepers. LOL

And Life Goes On

This weekend was one of THE hardest weekends I have had in a while. But, I made it through!
I feel like I have spent a lot of my time boding on something, something that is out of my hands, and now that it's over and done with, I feel even more empty inside. I need something to do. So, I went and looked for a job. I got a couple of applications that I now need to fill out, and I have an interview on Saturday for this 2-days a week job. Hopefully, I'll be able to find something to fill my time with.

I'm reading this book on forgiveness by President Kimball. I read a chapter today about forgiving to be forgiven. I always thought of myself as someone who easily and readily forgave others. I've never really been on to dwell on past misgivings unless I was super offended or hurt. And even then, I wasn't angry long and I forgot quickly. And I'd like to think that this thing that has happened is behind me, though at night, when I'm not thinking, it still hurts. But.. I feel like I can't be at peace until the person I have wronged, the family I have wronged, forgives me. But something I learned from this book is that, it's not on ME if THEY hold a grudge. I did what was right. I have no hard feelings towards them. Towards him. I don't ever want to see him again, and when I think about it, my heart aches, but I only feel sadness of a friendship lost. No grudge. No hatred. I have done what is right, and now it is on them to do the same thing. I know asking their forgiveness right now is pointless and will only make things worse. But I hope someday down the road, years from now, they will find it in their hearts to forgive me. As for now, I have done what's right. I have forgiven, and now it's my turn to be forgiven. Not from them, but from THEM. The Ones that matter. And trust me, I'm working on it. It's going to be a very long road, but I'm prepared to take it because I know it's what I need to do.

I'm tired of wasting energy on something I can't control. I'm tired of crying silently at night. I'm just tired. Waiting for their forgiveness is wearing me out. I need to move on. I've been told that countless times. But, I think Sunday was the last straw for me. My second wake up call this year. So, with this book and THE book, I'll start to move on. What's done is done and I can't keep worrying about it.

Spring Break Twenty-Eleven

Well, even though I'm not technically in school, I still decided to do the Spring Break thing. My sister is in school, so that's my rationale.
It starts off with a trip to the beach.... At Oak Mnt State Park. It was such a nice day out, I couldn't help it. We went to the fake beach they have there to tan. It was so nice to feel the sun on my skin again. It'd been too long. Afterwards, we went shopping. Well, I didn't actually buy anything, but Sugoi did. It was fun. We wasted time until the movie started. We saw The Adjustment Bureau. It was freaking amazing. I love Matt Damon. He's such a good actor. Afterwards, it had started to pour. I'm glad we weren't at the "beach" still. Instead Sugoi and i went back to shopping. It was quite the adventure. We found shoes name "Skylar". That was pretty sweet. They were pointy black pumps with purple on the inside. Totally Skylar.
Monday night I went to the B'ham Stake Center to play volleyball, and ended up playing this dance game at Jen's house on the Kinect. It was actually pretty much amazing. I like it so much more than the Wii.

Tuesday was pretty exciting. I ran some errands for Mom, and then I went to the movies with Sugoi, again. We saw Red Riding Hood. Pretty great movie. Cathrine Hardwick, the director, did a pretty good job on this one. She didn't botch it like she did Twilight. On our way home, our car broke down. How exciting. We were stranded on the side of the 65 between Valleydale and Cahaba Valley. It was actually pretty scary. I was stuck there for like, three hours, waiting for the tow truck. By the time I got home, I smelled like smoke and my throat was closing up. EW. But, I went and watched Despicable Me with Kaitlyn Minor. That was fun. Until I got a text that had forever changed my life. But, that's was to private to speak about. On my way home, I was distracted by said text and wasn't really paying attention to my speed, and ended up getting pulled over. It wasn't anything bad. I was just going under the speed limit, and then sped up too fast. The cop, who was behind me, was just worried that I was drunk. LOL. Right. Not. He let me off with a warning to know where my insurance card is. Nice guy. Hot guy. Haha.

Wednesday I went horse back riding. That was amazing. Me, Kaitlyn Minor, Skylar, and Sugoi went to this horse farm in Childersburg that our friend Morgan works at. They were kind enough to let us hang out there for a while and ride their horses. I was the first to get on one, and.. It didn't go over too well. I got about five feet before I gave up. Haha. Then it was Kaitlyn's turn. She's a pro. Then Skylar. He made the horse look like a pony. Sugoi, she couldn't even get on the horse without falling over the side of it. Haha. It was pretty stinking funny. Then, it was my turn again. Goodness. I finally got the hang of it. I was a pro:) OK.. Maybe not. But I could finally get the horse to go and ride it successfully. That is, until the last time around when the horse, Sadie, tripped and stumbled a little bit. Which sent me falling forward, and caused me to lose my balance, and fall of the side. I twisted my leg while doing so, but, it's all better now. I definitely would have gotten back on, had we had the chance. But it was almost four-thirty and time for us to leave. But let me tell you, that was soo much fun.
Today, I don't know what I'll do.... The day is half over and I'm still in my pj's. Who knows what adventure awaits me today.. Probably none, but we'll see!!